Is Your Student Ready for College?
Comforter? ✅
Sheets? ✅
Refrigerator? ✅
It’s almost time for your college student to pack up and head off into that great unknown called higher education. There are only so many things that fit in the car, though and some you can’t actually pack. I’m sure you remember when you were 18 or 20 and finally off on your own. The freedom was exhilarating. With freedom came responsibility though, and you had to learn how to balance your academic and social demands, not to mention laundry and a job. If your student has ADHD, that can be a tall order.
Think about it.
In high school, the day started with an alarm and, most likely, a few pleas from mom to GET OUT OF BED. At school, bells set the schedule for the day. After school, there were activities, practices then dinner and homework. Most high school kids have a tightly structured routine.
Now it’s time for college. There’s an alarm to start the day, but room mates aren’t terribly invested in whether or not your kid gets up for class. Actual class time only takes up about seven and a half hours a week. That leaves quite a bit of time to manage. Time for hanging out with friends, going to parties and football games and, oh yeah-studying. Gone are the nudges and reminders from concerned teachers and parents. And there are no more bells to say stop doing this and start doing that.
What to do?
As parents, we know we have to let go and hope that all of our hard work and good intentions have prepared our kids for success. If your son or daughter has ADHD, you probably know you have to hold on a little tighter and a little longer than other parents. And that’s okay. It’s not about trust, it’s about understanding that ADHD brains take a little longer to mature and develop those executive functioning skills. Those ADHD brains have a harder time resisting impulses and thinking over time.
Before your son or daughter sets out, it’s wise to think ahead and throw in a few speedbumps to slow down that burst of speed out the door. First, set up some expectations about how you’ll stay in touch that first semester and what information you’ll be privy to. What does their class schedule look like? What’s the plan for setting study time? How much will you need to know about his/her grades (BEFORE the semester ends)? How can you support them without hovering?
Next, what kind of support will your student need? Visit the school’s website to learn about the types of accommodations that he/she will qualify for and make sure the paperwork is ready. Being able to record a lecture can take some pressure off during class and assure there’s a backup for their notes. Will your student need some help from a tutor or a coach? With a full classload, a tutor can help with content, while the coach can support them in learning how to plan, schedule, problem solve, and find balance, among other things. A coach can also help with tools and resources to make life easier. There’s an app for just about anything.
Becoming an adult is a process, not an event. In her book, Becoming, Michelle Obama wrote, “Now I think it’s one of the most useless questions an adult can ask a child—What do you want to be when you grow up? As if growing up is finite. As if at some point you become something and that’s the end.” Leaving home and finding their own way is part of that process of becoming. Our kids with ADHD may need more support than other kids along the way, but rest assured, their possibiilities are endless.
Suzanne Leon is a Certified Professional Coach who works with people affected by ADHD/ADD. Visit her website to learn more about the services she provides. Click here to learn about her monthly newsletter!